DEVIANT TRAILER: Poltergeist (2015)

Ok...sooo...the trailer for the Poltergeist  remake is officially out. But, before we get into that let's discuss a few things...shall we?

A remake is a remake is a remake...and Hollywood does not give one squirt of piss about the sanctity of your treasured cinematic moments. Not one squirt. In fact...as long as we all keep buying the tickets for whatever new PG-13 genre remake coming out every year, the greedy Hollywood execs will just assume that we all dig this stuff and continue collecting the green stuff. I'm not proposing that we stop watching these films...because, as an astute genre fan myself...I, admittedly, cannot bring myself to ignore these new incarnations of my beloved classics. However, is it asking too much of a studio to treat these beloved classics with the respect and love that they deserve? The unfortunate answer to that question is yes...it is asking too much from Hollywood. So, alas...we are forced to endure the never ending onslaught of terrible genre remakes. And while some of them are downright awful, it is the mediocre ones that frustrate me the most. Because...then why retread the same path in the first place if all you intend to do is just give us the same exact fucking thing?? The infuriating Psycho  remake immediately comes to mind. Completely unfuckingnecessary. And there are those remakes that give us minuscule snippets of intriguing concepts here and there until ultimately casting all that aside for the stupid shit. I mean, say what you will about The Nightmare on Elm Street  remake (don't worry...I pretty much said all there is to say about that film HERE) but, they introduced some pretty interesting concepts in that film. The thing about Freddy being an evil child molester is sort of touched upon and before things start to get all heavy...all that is shunted for dumb CGI nonsense. But, hell...while we're shredding into the terrible remakes...let's not forget that some of the most amazing horror films have been...well...remakes. Would the cinematic universe be the same today if Carpenter and Cronenberg never made The Thing  or The Fly, respectively? Those are some iconic films right there. And yet...there's something inside most of us that cringe whenever a remake is announced.

Enter the Poltergeist  remake. Now...this one's a unique scenario. Not only are there some great actors found in the credits and an inspired filmmaker at the helm (Gil Kenan of 2006's Monster House)...but, the film is actually produced by none other than Sam fuckin' Raimi. Yes, sir...you read that correctly. And while Raimi himself has stated that they're gonna try for something different with this film, the trailer below echoes some of the same exact beats that the original did, grant it with a 2015 glossy update.

I'm gonna pause my commentary for a moment so that we can check out the new trailer together...cool?

Sooo...what say you? Are you impressed? Are you bored? Does that little clown doll scare you like it did when you first saw it in the original? I mean...to be completely fair...this is merely the trailer for the new film and very often, it is hard to judge the full cinematic experience from just the trailer...right? But, I dunno...there's just something about this trailer that feels sorta generic. While I do like the slight shift in tone (feels like a darker take on Tobeve Hooberg's fun version) and love the casting choices (still waiting on bigger things for Jared Harris)...it all just seems like a waste of time if the only straying from the original they're gonna attempt are with smart phones and flat screens. I will remain hopeful, though, all the way up until this updated version of Poltergeist  finally hits theaters on July 24th.

Thanks for reading and watching,

bryan.