BLOODY STREAMS with Matt Dean

Dirty Deviant week is over, but what a blast it was. I had so much fun reading, writing and viewing so many great things in the world of horror. I’m hoping that it comes around again very soon. This week I've decided to broaden the BLOODY STREAMS again and offer something a little bit different in each title. Don’t worry, though, they’re all deviant in their own special ways.




Hostel (2006)


Hostel  was mentioned a couple of times in last week’s multiple entries; primarily for helping to begin the onslaught of the widely-publicized sub-genre known as torture porn, but also for helping to get more deviance into the mainstream. Which is what we’re all trying to do: let the lesser known films that we all know and love become more loved and respected by those around us. I was there opening night when Hostel arrived in my small town. It was gruesome, featured t-n-a and was really funny; a winning trifecta. I had already seen Roth’s Cabin Fever  so none of those things surprised me, but a horror director’s sophomore effort can historically be a bit disappointing. I’m glad my reservations were wrong because Roth has become a mainstay in the genre and made one of the better horror sequels in Hostel 2, a very mature and squirm-inducing film that surpasses the original, in my opinion. If you've never given it a chance or if you just want to enjoy it again, here it is in all of its uncut glory.





Argento’s Dracula 3D (2012)


I’m going to keep this short so I don’t waste your time or any more of my time. This movie is epically bad. I didn't expect much because I’d heard that it was pretty horrendous, but it’s Argento, the master or what I thought was the master. Perhaps he’s just a shadow of his former self. Whatever the fuck happened, please don’t watch this movie. The acting, the effects, the story, the sets, the “3D” elements; it’s all almost unbelievable how bad it is. I watched it for you so that you don’t have to. Really. But, here it is if you’re a masochist or something.





Trollhunter (2010)


I've referenced and/or talked about this movie numerous times in other articles, but I thought that it was high time to talk about the entire beast. This movie blew me away. I was sitting on the couch a few years back, searching through Netflix and I stumbled upon this. Hadn't heard of it, but pressed play for whatever reason. The reason I've felt the need to reference this film so much is because the plot is so familiar. (The Blair Witch Project, Devil’s Pass, The Frankenstein Theory  all employ the same techniques) Basically, a film crew goes searching for a legend (in this case, trolls), the group begins to dissolve and the shit inevitably hits the fan right before the credits roll. What makes this film so different and so much better is the quality. The cinematography is great (You don’t feel like you’re watching a shaky camera the entire time), the acting is perfect (You don’t feel like you’re watching shitty actors trying to look believably scared the whole time) and the effects are mind-blowing (You don’t believe you’re looking at CGI the entire time). These trolls look so believable it’s astounding. Sure, if you’re an elitist asshole who likes to turn your willful suspension of disbelief off then I guess you could say, “I can tell they’re not real trolls, blah-blah-blah”, but we’re not in that business here, are we? No, we like vampires and zombies and ghosts and trolls. So, sit back, relax and enjoy the beauty of pure filmmaking. I guarantee you’ll thank us.





Ghostbusters (1984)


Here’s one for the kiddos, or at least older kiddos. It seems like the stuff we used to watch as kids doesn’t really fly with kids today. There’re some fairly frightening things in this movie franchise. Much more in this than in part 2, but even good ole Vigo had his moments in the sequel. I think even if you haven’t seen this movie, the title gives it away. Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!! It is classic and it’s part of my childhood so I’ll continue to praise its merits. And we all need the next generations to be able to say, “I ain't afraid of no ghosts!”





7 Puppet Master Films (1989 – 2010)


Here’s a little bonus. The first six films of the Puppet Master  series, with the addition of number nine. As a child, I was much more into Chucky than these animated dolls, but they still provided some great memories, especially of the puppet with a drill for a head. They’re like a puppet Texas Chainsaw  or Reservoir Dogs, each one bringing with it his own style and expertise. The series gets progressively sillier, much like most horror series, but the first few provide some legitimate fun.








Matt, Signing Out



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