I tried to like this movie...but, it ended up hurting my feelings. Yes...I have feelings. Let's discuss.
I've been doing my absolute best to keep myself from ripping into terrible films these past couple months. In the early days of Film Deviant I would just go on a mean-spirited rampage on films that would annoy the hell out of me. However, since I've been getting into the inner workings of filmmaking and I've seen firsthand how much hard work goes into the entire process of getting a film made...I've been pretty lenient in terms of giving a film a pass for its shortcomings here and there. I'll admit...sometimes it has caused me to give certain films higher scores than I would in the past. But ultimately, this has made me a much better film reviewer...as it has literally forced me to look at the entire picture for what it sets out to be...and critique it for what it offers in its final stage.
Having said all of that...sometimes a film comes along that does it's absolute best to break me and everything I worked hard to accomplish with my goodwill. Especially when I did everything I could to keep the demons at bay. However, as hard as I try...sometimes the only thing that I am forced to do is let the demons come out and rip the film offender apart into little fleshy bits. This is one of those times.
Let's be real. The original Fright Night from 1985 never needed a remake of any kind. While they made a sequel to the film back in 1988...it was a well-intended continuation of what was originally presented setting out to recapture the unintentional magic from the original film. It wasn't a bad film altogether...altho it certainly had its share of problems. Perhaps one could even argue that the 1988 sequel might've warranted a true remake. The kind of remake where some talented filmmakers could go back and fix whatever might be wrong with the film and expand on some of the cool concepts presented. Now...I'm no advocate for remaking horror classics from the 80's...but, let's not kid ourselves. There are some films that could really benefit from a bigger budget and some new blood.
Fright Night 2: New Blood doesn't do that. In fact...Fright Night 2: New Blood is a fucking poor waste of everyone's time involved. Where the studios had a great opportunity to create something really unique with this entry...all they did was remake the remake from a couple of years ago. Seriously...no attempt was made to make anything new...or exciting, for that matter. It's as if someone relied on the mild success the Fright Night remake with Colin Farrell and decided to throw out a direct-to-video concoction of everything unoriginal and tired with absolutely no effort whatsoever. There's even an animated bit in the film that is supposed to explain some "back story" (a la Kill Bill) that just doesn't fit into the style of this film. Even the fucking animation is lazy and a bit stupid.
I was actually willing to give this one a chance, too. I got if for a dollar and change at the local RedBox and decided to really find something good in the film...after hearing from just about every direction that it was bad. I mean...how bad could a film starring Jaime Murray as a blood-sucking vampire be...right? Turns out that the lovely Murray doesn't help the film at all. She just sorta does her Jaime Murray thing with fangs and black contacts on. It sucks...because I've always kinda envisioned her as a killer vampire the moment I saw her on season two of Dexter. Unfortunately...her talents are pretty much wasted here. I mean...she's not all that bad in the film for what is asked of her. However, I couldn't help thinking that in the hands of a better filmmaker, Murray would've seriously killed the role of a female Dandridge. And that's pretty much the main issue with this version of Fright Night...nobody bothered to care about this film in any kind of creative way.
The film is a fucking sham in the worst way. It basically just dupes you into thinking that you're watching something completely different from what you've seen before until you realize that it's the same goddamn movie...just dropped off into a different part of the world. And what's worse is that all the names that you've known for years are played by empty versions of the characters that you love. Charley Brewster is played by some annoying actor named Will Payne, who does quite a bit as far as living up to his last name. Chris Waller shows up as Evil Ed...just to make you appreciate Stephen Geoffreys all the more. Sean Power plays the absolute worst version of Peter Vincent you could fathom. Where the legendary Roddy McDowell was genuine and earnest in his role, this guy is just the embodiment of sleazy and dumb. As I mentioned earlier, Jaime Murray is wasted in the role of the gender-swapped Gerri Dandridge. The gender thing might've been interesting, actually...had someone actually gave a fuck. The only bearable performance comes from someone named Sacha Parkinson playing Amy Peterson. While not as iconic as Amanda Bearse, Parkinson somewhat holds her own in the role as Charley's cock-teasing girlfriend.
It's basically all the same film you've already seen 2 times before...except in Romania. Oh...and Dandridge is a fucking teacher now. Seriously...did anyone fucking care about this film?? The simple answer is a resounding FUCK NO. Hell...it might've been interesting had they just gone the exploitation route...considering how I brought home the "Unrated" version. And, yet...a small handful of boobies and some gore that might make an 11 year-old film student happy. Jaime Murray is basically naked throughout most of the second season of Dexter. Yet, here...she's blatantly shielded from any kind of revealing of skin. I'm not trying to sound like a Deviant (heh) or anything...but, there's this one scene where she "undresses" and descends into a huge pool of blood. It would've looked pretty cool to see her entire naked body dripping in blood. Just for the sake of the fact that they were sort of doing the whole Elizabeth Bathory angle in the film. You know...the woman who used to bathe in blood. Oh...and Murray's fangs looked so goddamn fake! There's a scene towards the end where she's all pissed and reveals her fangs in grand fashion...and you can totally see where they glued them to her own teeth, as well as the different shades of colors that don't quite match her own teeth. Maybe I'm nitpicking here...but, in the end...it just all adds to the suck-factor of this film.
Fright Night 2: New Blood is as insipid and uninspired as everyone says it is. I wanted to break the fucking DVD in half when I ejected it. However, that would've meant that I would have to pay full price for the damn thing...relinquishing victory to this terrible film. Instead...I would like to recommend that if you do happen across Fright Night 2: New Blood...whether it be at your local RedBox or Target shelf...or what have you...give it your middle finger and tell it to go fuck itself. Better to do that than for the film to have its last laugh on you. Fright Night 2: New Blood ranks as the first film that we've ever given a zero...because...well, it fucking sucks on every possible level.
The film is a fucking sham in the worst way. It basically just dupes you into thinking that you're watching something completely different from what you've seen before until you realize that it's the same goddamn movie...just dropped off into a different part of the world. And what's worse is that all the names that you've known for years are played by empty versions of the characters that you love. Charley Brewster is played by some annoying actor named Will Payne, who does quite a bit as far as living up to his last name. Chris Waller shows up as Evil Ed...just to make you appreciate Stephen Geoffreys all the more. Sean Power plays the absolute worst version of Peter Vincent you could fathom. Where the legendary Roddy McDowell was genuine and earnest in his role, this guy is just the embodiment of sleazy and dumb. As I mentioned earlier, Jaime Murray is wasted in the role of the gender-swapped Gerri Dandridge. The gender thing might've been interesting, actually...had someone actually gave a fuck. The only bearable performance comes from someone named Sacha Parkinson playing Amy Peterson. While not as iconic as Amanda Bearse, Parkinson somewhat holds her own in the role as Charley's cock-teasing girlfriend.
It's basically all the same film you've already seen 2 times before...except in Romania. Oh...and Dandridge is a fucking teacher now. Seriously...did anyone fucking care about this film?? The simple answer is a resounding FUCK NO. Hell...it might've been interesting had they just gone the exploitation route...considering how I brought home the "Unrated" version. And, yet...a small handful of boobies and some gore that might make an 11 year-old film student happy. Jaime Murray is basically naked throughout most of the second season of Dexter. Yet, here...she's blatantly shielded from any kind of revealing of skin. I'm not trying to sound like a Deviant (heh) or anything...but, there's this one scene where she "undresses" and descends into a huge pool of blood. It would've looked pretty cool to see her entire naked body dripping in blood. Just for the sake of the fact that they were sort of doing the whole Elizabeth Bathory angle in the film. You know...the woman who used to bathe in blood. Oh...and Murray's fangs looked so goddamn fake! There's a scene towards the end where she's all pissed and reveals her fangs in grand fashion...and you can totally see where they glued them to her own teeth, as well as the different shades of colors that don't quite match her own teeth. Maybe I'm nitpicking here...but, in the end...it just all adds to the suck-factor of this film.
Fright Night 2: New Blood is as insipid and uninspired as everyone says it is. I wanted to break the fucking DVD in half when I ejected it. However, that would've meant that I would have to pay full price for the damn thing...relinquishing victory to this terrible film. Instead...I would like to recommend that if you do happen across Fright Night 2: New Blood...whether it be at your local RedBox or Target shelf...or what have you...give it your middle finger and tell it to go fuck itself. Better to do that than for the film to have its last laugh on you. Fright Night 2: New Blood ranks as the first film that we've ever given a zero...because...well, it fucking sucks on every possible level.
Hmmm...can anybody guess what our worst horror film of 2013 will be?
Don't worry, tho...Jaime, you vast-jawed hottie. We'll spare you from the list. We know how awesome you can be and that the suckage of this film cannot be blamed on you. *looks at Eduardo Rodriguez and Matt Venne*
Also...little bit of a side note here. On IMDB they list this film as a horror/comedy. What in the cock is that about??! I hope they were kidding about the comedy thing...because I didn't laugh at all during this film. Not even unintentionally.
Thanks for reading,
bryan.
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