Clowns are fucking scary. There's absolutely no denying that particular sentiment. I have plenty of friends and family alike who are still scared to death of clowns. And so...why wouldn't they make an awesome inclusion to the genre. Clowns have that sort of off-center aspect about them that make them creepy. I, myself, don't really find them all that scary. Unless, of course, it is 3:15 in the AM and I wake up to one standing over me...watching me. But, then...I would imagine that just about anything is fucking creepy in that particular scenario. That's not to lessen the effect clowns have in the world of phobias by any means. However, it is important to point out that a clown was originally meant to bring joy and fun into the lives of innocents. It is the distorting of imagery that they have received over the years that have made them into the sadistic creepers that they've ultimately become.
Perhaps it is the bastardization of the clown by such notorious figures as John Wayne Gacy and Stephen King's Pennywise that have attributed to the irrational fear of something that was once meant to bring us happiness. There's no arguing the fear factor of a clown that goes around killing innocent people for fun. And so...the clown has, unfortunately, become a symbol for something much more sinister and malevolent than what it was originally intended for.
Join us...(if you dare)...for a cinematic trip into the world of Coulrophobia. The Fear of Clowns.
KILLER DOLL CLOWN
Poltergeist (1982)
Poltergeist was my very first experience with an evil clown of any variety. This one happened to be a clown doll...and I would be lying if I said that I didn't check under my bed for years after this particular scene. While clowns may be scary on their own, clown dolls add a different element to the whole Coulrophobia thing.
ZOMBIE CLOWN
Zombieland (2009)
This one's pure genius. I mean...what's scarier than a clown...but, a clown that has a hunger for live human flesh and absolutely no sense of self. A mindless zombie clown! There's been many iterations of this particular type of clown...but, the recent Zombieland does a fine job of bringing this particular variation of the fear to life. Or...rather, death.
CAPTAIN SPAULDING
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), The Devil's Rejects (2005)
I absolutely love me some Sid Haig. He's been an grindhouse staple longer than a lot of today's actors have been alive and his portrayal of Captain Spaulding from Rob Zombie's films go down as one of the most iconic clowns in cinema history. Is there a cooler clown than Captain Spaulding on this list? Me thinks not.
WHOOPTIE GODDAMN DA-DO!
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
How can a list like this go on without making mention of the one film that turns a fear of clowns into an entertaining classic for the ages. I'm talking about none other than Killer Klowns From Outer Space, ladies and Deviants. Here's a quick dating test. Ask your significant other if he or she likes Killer Klowns From Outer Space...and if they say that they can't stand the film...immediately head for the door and never look back. He or she who cannot stand such a film is without a soul, my friends.
ART THE CLOWN
Terrifier (2011)
What a scary fucking clown Art is! Just look at him...absolutely terrifying in the absolutely awesome 19 minute short film by Damien Leone called Terrifier. Incidentally, Leone's short film will be available as part of a Halloween anthology called All Hallow's Eve later this month at all participating Walmart's. So, be on the look out for that. Wouldn't it be cool to dress up as Art the clown and go into a Walmart to purchase the film? Hmmmm...
PENNYWISE
It (1990)
Last...but certainly not least is, perhaps, the most recognized genre clown of them all. Pennywise from Stephen King's It. He is the epitome of the scary clown and is surely grown zero, as far as nightmare fuel goes, for many a folk who suffer from Coulrophobia. It's funny because Tim Curry is primarily known for two iconic roles...Dr. Frank-N-Furter and Pennywise. The latter being one of the main reasons for sleep deprivation.
For more horror clown hijinks...follow our own resident Deviant clown...GHOULHECTIC THE CLOWNIE HERE! And stay tuned for more Film Phobias all month long!
Thanks for reading,
bryan.
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