If you're looking for a fun exercise in depravity and disgustingly original entertainment, then The ABCs of Death is the anthology horror film for you, my dear friends. It's a blasty blast of movie that focuses on 26 different takes on our favorite subject...death.
Now, I'll admit...it's kind of tough to review a film of this nature because it is comprised of a number of different filmmakers all coming together and putting their own stamp on one particular subject. Ambitious, right? You have directors like Angela Bettis (!), Xavier Gens (Frontier(s)), Srdjan Spasojevic (A Serbian Film), Ben Wheatley (Kill List), Nacho Vigalondo (Timecrimes), Marcel Sarmiento (Deadgirl), Adam Wingard (You're Next), Ti West (The House of the Devil)...I could seriously go on. An eclectic group of talented filmmakers given a letter of the alphabet to express their take on the end of life. All in one crazy anthology. Sounds fucking cool, right??
Well, it mostly is cool. Like most other anthologies, you get your good, you get your bad and you get your tedious. This film has it all...literally. So, instead of writing a book review of this film...I'll just go ahead and reveal my "scribble notes" for each letter. I won't reveal what each letter stands for because that's actually part of the fun. Guessing what each letter stands for.
A - Great start. Awesome gore and a nice twist by an underrated director!
B - Not too bad. Kind of cliche...but, done nicely...I guess. Also...boobies.
C - Cute.
D - Yes! Kind of predictable...but, I loved the original spin and awesome cinematography.
E - Ok. Not great...just ok. Still love you, Angela Bettis!
F - Seriously??? I appreciate the stylized presentation...but, seriously??!
G - A little stupid. Come on, Andrew Traucki...you're better than this!
H - Uhhh....no thanks.
I - Tedious...but, not bad.
J - HAHAHAHA...Awesome!
K - What the fuck? Who changed this to Liquid Television??
L - Oh...My...God. Ok...I need to wash my eyeballs now. *shudders*
M - I'm sad now.
N - HAHAHAHA...dumbass! Classic!
O - Ooohhh...sexy and ethereal.
P - Preachy and pretentious.
Q - I see what you were trying to do there, Adam Wingard. Mediocre, nonetheless. Boobies.
R - Damn, dude. remind me to never ask the director of A Serbian Film what he's thinking.
S - Now I'm all bummed out.
T - HAHAHAHA! That's more like it! I'll take more of this, please!
U - I was just thinking how this reminded me of Kill List!
V - This! This I love! Needs to be a feature!
W - Did someone slip acid into my drink again?? What the Fuck?? Oh...ok...heh.
X - Cute.
Y - I fucking love you, Jason Eisener...I hope you go on to bigger and better things!
Z - Great finish! I could watch that segment all day! Boobies.
So, that pretty much sums it up. It's a film that, literally, has a little of something for everyone. There are some really good stand outs...and there are some clunkers. It's seriously like watching a marathon of MTV's Liquid Television from back in the day. Most of the people that I've talked to about this anthology tend to like "T" the best. And they have good reason because it is probably the most solid story of the pack. However, there are plenty of truly good shorts here that will definitely resonate with horror fans. So good that they should consider making some full-length features out of some of the concepts devised. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that something like "L" or "V" could totally have been taken out of a bigger film.
The ABCs of Death is a film best recommended for that next horror party you're throwing. Just turn it on and leave it playing in the background and watch how many people sit and stare. It's disturbing, it's original and it's funny as fuck. I wouldn't mind if they did one of these every other year.
Well?? What the hell are you still doing here, man?? Go see it....NOW!
bryan.
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