Oh...why, hello there! And welcome to another action-packed edition of The Trailer Clairvoyant. This is basically a segment where our editor, bryan, really liked my writing. However, I'm much too busy in my personal life to write lengthy reviews of all the cool horror films that come out all the time, so he asked me to predict how good a film will be based on its trailer. Gimmicky, perhaps. But, I assure you that I am well versed in the arts of black magic. So, my predictions are something beyond the traditional gimmicks.
Seriously. My witchcraft is real. Anywho, the trailer for the the sequel to last year's Grave Encounters (review here) came out just yesterday. Let's take a looky look, shall we?
DIRECTOR: John Poliquin
SCREENWRITER: The Vicious Brothers
STARRING: Reese Alexander, Stephanie Bennett and no one else anyone's ever heard of
TAGLINE: "Just When You Thought It Was Over...They Found More Footage"
Ok, I don't really need to use my black arts to predict what kind of film this is going to be based on that stupid fucking tagline. However, let's all keep an open mind and check out the actual trailer before we make any rash predictions, ok? Then, we can meet back for a more concise discussion.
Ok, so first impressions. Not too bad. More of the same. What the fuck is wrong with young people these days. And I love Coolduder. Now, I'm not going to hate on this film. The first one was a deeply flawed decent attempt at horror filmmaking. This one just looks like more wide-mouthed ghosts crawling through windows and haunting dumb kids. I like that it has fun with it's found footage trappings and yet, I'm a little turned off by that same fact. However, it does have some intriguing charms.
PREDICTION: It'll be just as deeply flawed as the original was with poorer acting and a lamer plot. However, it will be just as fun. Now, if Coolduder was in the entire film, Grave Encounters 2 would've been the MUST SEE FILM OF THE YEAR!
THE TRAILER CLAIRVOYANT HATH SPOKEN!
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