So, I watched the new film Dream House today and I wish I could get my money back.
It's not that Dream House is a terribly bad film. It's just that I could've watched something just as intriguing and satisfying on the Lifetime network. From all the trailers I've seen I thought that I was in store for a nice little supernatural thriller with more intelligent plot twists. However, what I got instead was a very lukewarm dramatic thriller with a bunch of really stupid plot twists, one of which you'll surely figure out 5 minutes after the Universal Studios logo fades to black.
It's kind of a shame, too...because the film is chock-full of great actors and a strong list of interesting characters set up within the story.
The premise goes...
A man named named Will quits his desk job at a prestigious publishing company to go home and spend time with his beloved family as well as write his great novel. Well, when he gets to his new home in the Connecticut suburbs, he finds that all is not what it seems. He starts seeing shadowy figures in the trees of his backyard and gothic teenagers holding candlelit rituals in his basement. He soon learns that the former home owners were brutally murdered and that all the weird stuff going on is actually related to the murders.
Daniel Craig plays Will Atenton and he does a relatively good job for the most part. Although, I half-expected him to whip out a British-issued Walther PPK at any given moment throughout the film and dispatch people at will with his British Secret Service trained hand-to-hand combat skills. He really has a knack for acting out tension-filled scenes without so much as a smirk. The man knows no fear. He also has a killer set of abs. I'm not fond of men...I just like his abs. I mean...well...nevermind.
Rachel Weisz plays Will's lovely wife and she is stunning in the role. I could seriously recommend the film for the scenes of her prancing around the "dream house" in her flimsy nighty alone...but, that's just because I was trying to latch onto something interesting in the film. And Rachel Weisz's body IS interesting.
Naomi Watts shows up as Ann Patterson, Will's neighbor across the street. She does her usual Naomi Watts thing. I just kinda wish she did more.
Film veterans Elias Koteas and Marton Csokas round out the cast as the film's ultimately stupid as fuck plot twist. I found myself laughing after the reveal. Seriously?? A fucking mistake?!? You'll know what I mean if you ever wander into this film.
Jim Sheridan has directed several great films including...My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father and The Boxer. So, it comes as a complete surprise that he can't direct a genre film to save his life. I mean...the film looks pretty...it's just directed like an old guy running around trying to make people flinch with cheap jump scares.
Ultimately, I do not recommend this poor wasted effort by all involved for the simple matter that you could probably just switch on the Hallmark Channel and watch the same exact thing. It's not scary, it's mildly entertaining and Rachel Weisz never takes off her nighty. I might recommend Dream House as something you might watch late night on TV if you are unable to sleep...as it has a tendency to make you drift off into your own dream house.
1 out 5
Unfortunately, I'm not going to get my money...or my time back...so, there are no real winners here today. Well, except for Daniel Craig...who gets to bang this in real life...
Thanks for reading,
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