SCI-FI Week!: Girls of the Fictitious Science - Part 1

For as long as I could remember Sci-Fi has been a strong part of my film watching life. Some of my favorite films of all time have been Sci-Fi. Some of my favorite shows of all time have been Sci-Fi. Some of the hottest girls that I've ever seen growing up...have been Sci-Fi. Perhaps the life that I know...is not real at all...perhaps it's all Sci-Fi.

It's a really cool genre...and it's so fun to say.....SCI-FI! But, what is Science Fiction anyway? Well...Thomas Drew took an in-depth look into it earlier this week. Is it all alien related? Or can it be something like the brilliant film Moon? Where man is ultimately fighting with himself. Does the antagonist have to be something man-made? Or can it be something more akin to the unknown like in Carpenters' classic The Thing? It's all so confusing. But, what's not confusing is the females that have been a part of the Sci-Fi films we all know and love.

Please...join me as we take a trip to the far reaches of the unknown...

Btw...Jane Fonda in Barbarella for your viewing pleasure...

I think from the early beginnings of Science Fiction...the female form has been a large part of the discovery of the unknown. Here...let me give you an example. Stop reading this article and go over to your girlfriend/wife and ask her to explain what the Konami code means. Now...odds are she won't know what the fuck you're talking about. If she does...well...then, may God bless your everlasting soul. But, in the other case...she'll probably think that you're just talking about something stupid. Now...ask her about the latest episode of Glee...and she'll gladly explain to you in-depth what the plot consists of...as well as the songs they jacked for this week's episode. Crazy...huh? Fuckin' Sci-Fi, my friend. Taking elements of what we know...and mixing them with what we don't know...and creating something altogether new...yet, familiar. Horror doesn't do stuff like that. Good horror will take something you know and then, throw something completely unexpected and scary at you. Like...if you go and ask your loved one what the Konami code is...and all of a sudden she looks up at you...then, lunges at your throat and proceeds to eat your face off...while singing This Little Bus Goes Round and Round. See the difference? No?

Ok...well...lemme put it like this...

Long ago...in a galaxy far...far...away. There was the lovely Princess Leia. She happened to be in a 3-way love triangle with a seasoned older bad boy...and a goodie two-shoes dork. She liked the goodie two-shoes dork because...well, he was a goodie two-shoes dork. Now...as the story progressed, she got to know the older bad boy...and liked his style. So much so, that she fell for the ruffian...while the goodie two-shoes dork retreated to himself and got more involved with his inner soul. Sounds familiar...right? Sounds like something you might watch on General Hospital...right? Well...drop that sub-plot into some other galaxy and throw in an evil dark lord with breathing issues and the ability to choke a bitch without even touching him who goes by the name of Darth Vader and you might have a recipe for a legendary Sci-Fi flick called Star Wars. One that has stood the test of time and has become one of my favorite films of all time (Empire Strikes Back). See what I mean? Taking every day issues and mixing them with a galaxy you know nothing about.

Speaking of favorites...I always loved Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. I remember watching the many adventures of Buck and Twiki as they dealt with many familiar issues of the human variety as well as ones of the inhuman variety. I tried to emulate Buck in the way that he was always so confident. Not as cocky as Capt. James T. Kirk of the Enterprise was...Buck just understood how much of a stud he was and walked around gathering all the alien poon that was thrown his way. Unfortunately, I was never that much of a stud. I mean...I did ok, don't get me wrong...but, Buck was the man. There was one episode that always freakin' freaked me out....the Space Vampire episode. Still gives me the willies whenever I watch that particular one. It's also Col.  Wilma Deering's (Erin Gray) hottest episode where she tries to seduce Buck. God....and the lycra she used to wear. I realize it was all quite cheesy as I sit back and watch the box set from time to time in my adulthood....but, it's something that takes me back to my childhood as I remember all the times Buck and I used to spend in our living room. The lycra also helped in ushering in my puberty earlier than usual. Even Twiki couldn't resist the cameltoe.

As we entered the 90's Sci-Fi morphed into different concepts and fresh new ways you could take the same old stories. For example...the alien premise. What if we took H.R. Giger's original design and made her a female alien who stalked horny men in which to savagely rip their brains through the back of their heads? Enter Species...a fun film straight out of 1995's sexually paranoid culture. Fuck a hot girl and die. That was pretty much the message. And yet...when it is given the Science Fiction touch...you have a film for the ages which is as much dangerous as it is sexy. Of course, having Natasha Henstridge in the lead female alien role didn't hurt. Now...I realize that you could pretty much do the whole social commentary thing with horror as well. But, it's sometimes so buried in horror...you can't ever find it unless you pull yourself together from being frightened and actually dissect the film. Sci-Fi isn't like that. While you can salivate at the distraction that an alien with 3 breasts throws your way like in Total Recall...you'll always see that the film deals with a blue-collared guy dealing with corruption on a larger scale.

We've already mentioned The Fifth Element and how much of an impact it's had on our Sci-Fi culture. And we already know how hot Milla Jovavich is...but, are you aware of how important Leeloo is to the genre? Well...she's the "ONE". She's here to save all of humanity. Her sole existence is to prevent the immanent destruction of mankind. She's perfect...and yet, it isn't until the end that she realizes what it's all for.....love. Simple. Familiar. Yet...oh, so complicated. To think that love can ultimately save the day in a world involving an evil Gary Oldman as well as a dark evil force trying to destroy everything. But, no, no, no...Leeloo is there to prove that love can save the world. It reminds me of another film with a similar love premise...concerning the "One". But I'll save that for part 2 of Girls of the Fictitious Science.

To Be Continued...

Thanks for reading,

bryan.